I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
