Welp...herpes.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
