2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
