I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
