awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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