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Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
