Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
