She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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