is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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