ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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