Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
