he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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