That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
