I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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