Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize