Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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