THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
