Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
