Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize