In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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