So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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