This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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