I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
