And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize