yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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