me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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