West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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