Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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