Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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