My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize