Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
