...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
