just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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