using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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