We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
