fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
