I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
