how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
