well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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