He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
