Pregnant stripper...not hot.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
