i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
