careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
