You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
