He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
