i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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