You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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