I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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