I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You pole danced in your parka.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
