Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
only if we run a train.
done.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
