just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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