Apparently you make a good broom.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
