I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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