super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We had to coat check the pizza.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
50% drunk capacity currently
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
