her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I could fuck to npr.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
