I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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