There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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