you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
