Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize