I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
