I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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