Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
